SPAM FICTION

This is a cryptic SPAM repository. I have found fragments of FICTION. I have found poetry. I have found secret messages. I have found divinity. I am whole because of the unrequested messages that fall into my inbox. Seek truth. Seek SPAM. But first tell me, why am I wasting my life?

The quoted texts are probably copyright. I recieved them as junk filler in SPAM email, inserted to distract the filters that would otherwise kill the message. Rarely does it work, so I shuffle through the SPAM box and look for gems. Texts are included as editorial exerpts. I editorialize, or otherwise try to interpret their meanings or derivations. Tell me, why am I wasting my life?

BIG MONEY NOW! Isn’t it convenient MR. SPAMMER, how your private, friendly advice to your buddy across the country just happened to wind up in my inbox. I know someone must fall for that scam. I might more often, that is, if I didn’t recieve a dozen accidental stock tips every WEEK!

They that walk much in the sun will be tanned at last After all is said and done, more is said than done Common fame is seldom to blame

The proverbial advice gracing the bottom of my screen is perhaps the more useful part of this email. Not that I completely understand THAT either. I am reminded of the quipping jokes that have over time evolved into low-brow small talk, such as “I love work. I could watch it all day.” or “Everybody stands still and no one gets hurt.” Recorded for posterity.

Ah, the rare gems of my inbox arrive dressed as unsolicited advice on my own romantic abilities. That’s right: whoever you are Mr. SEXpert, please step back and give this poor guy some air. Tell you what… I’ll buy your quick-fix answers for my apparent bedroom errs if you buy my quick-fix answers about how to fix the your obvious social inadequacy. SPAMMER, indeed!

i am busy, no thank you, go above Rob shook his head regretfully. If I were a great electrician I should know what to ask, he said But I am too ignorant to take advantage of your kind offerm12

I have all sorts of respect for the trades-folk of this world. While I earn my dues from tappity-tapping biased opinions into various websites, noble trades-folk build things that serve real function. I’m not sure I understand the context of “one who seeks the oh-mighty-oh-wise-electrician”, but I can see where the line may have been blurred a little.

It’s a shame that such a large bulk of my email contains advertisements for pressure-raising pharmaceuticals. What’s even more of a shame is the simple abuse of perfectly good sci-fi in the process. This, while it may not be the BEST example of good science fiction, crossed my SPAM box just today.

policies of benign neglect had forced on the human beings out there on garbage world. I smiled and waited for the cursing and the spitting to die down,

I wonder, as I read this brief fragment, what the state of the world must be like for it to be described as both (a) a garbage world, and (b) preferable to seeming government oppression. Authors take note: sell your wares through cryptic fragments emailed randomly to potential fans. I almost want to read this story now. Almost.